“It’s been a bad week,” she finally says. She hesitates, just long enough for his fingers to tighten around the phone, until it creaks in protest. “Jared? It’s Miranda.” Her tone is cautious, kind. Weeks, even months, when everything is perfect, and Jensen never seems to stop smiling, from the moment he wakes up to the time he lays his head down on the pillow to sleep and dream of things that are good, and fine and beautiful, and they’re good. Jared looks at him with a grin, waitinguntil he starts to calm down before adding, “Well, at least if I am, you won’t know the difference.There are times when Jared allows himself to hope that maybe, just maybe, this is it. Man, we’re gonna be the worst lovers ever.” “So,” he says, trying to make them both feel less awkward, “you’ve never had real sex and I’ve never had gay sex. Somehow I can also overlook how I don't like uneven relationships (and you can hardly get more uneven than this). He can't have the time OR energy to, as much as he doesn't want to it's also his inability to do that makes it beliavable for me that he never does, well, and how snippy he gets sometimes.

It's a character that's always very close to becoming a Gary-Stu of sorts because there are very wonderful things about him and when you're dealing with the fucked up things your emotions can do to the world around you and forcing yourself not to be feel anything it's hard to do anything bad at all.

There's some traits in the characters, Jensen in particular, that would bother me in fanfic but that I can accept as part of a very fucked up individual who's always told he has to gain control of something inherently uncontrolable (his emotions) but it's also always being controled by someone else because nobody trusts him to do it well enough (not even he himself). The music included in the text was lovely even if I'm terrible at visualizing music myself and can't quite *see* the connection to the story unless it has lyrics. I'm not gonna say it's perfect, it's often overexplained and sometimes borders mushy but it touched, it's angsty and frustrating and full of love and, well, magic. I thought I was reading a fanfic but turns out I was wrong. This author seems aware of this since she's contemplating publishing it some day. What's a RPS when it's an AU? IMO, an original story with borrowed names, this is specially true of this story where references to the actors real lifes and the show are basically non-existent.

The Doors of Time by Felisblanco